It's the start of a new competition year for Kassie and her friends at TDA. Just two years ago, we traveled to Utah for the same convention. This year the convention was held in SLC though. As I watch Kassie having so much fun with her friends, this is what matters.
There is always going to be drama associated with any kind of competition, that is old news. Some people take it too serious, some not serious enough. I had been one of those moms that was pretty consumed with this lifestyle, so much so, that I created a business around this. It was all new to me two years ago, and so much has happened in the two years that followed. It was easy to get sucked in. You meet parents who, on the same token are as consumed or overly consumed with winning, winning, winning. There are the some that are team players, and some that when push comes to shove, fly solo.
In SLC, I watched my daughter as she danced through classes, but all the while laughing and joking with her friends and it hit me, this should not be about anything else. It should be about her just having a good time and making memories. Some kids will win, some will lose, it is a part of life. Ultimately what will matter, when she is raising her own children, will be the good memories that we as parents, were able to provide for her.
She has traveled a lot already for a 12 year old. She has seen cities that we probably would not have chosen to go to. She has grown as a person for these experiences, she has broadened her mind. She now knows that there is a lot that this world has to offer. I remember when we were in New York last summer, she was walking down 5th Avenue, towards Central Park. She said "Mom, I'm going to live here one day, these are the streets I will be walking to work on. This is what I will see in the morning when I wake up". I, as a parent, laughed. At the time she was 10 years old, what does she know? I was about to go into the financial part of living in NYC. I stopped short and added, "I guess I will have to come visit then".
Why, why would I crush the hopes and dreams of this 10 year old? It was my fault, I was exposing her to this, I was giving her the opportunity so see that this life existed. It was not just on t.v. It was real. So I ask myself this question, why does the opinion of what other people think matter? She is a child, and she has a good heart. She thinks like a normal 12 year old thinks (thank god). Her worries are that of a 12 year old, you know, silly things. I will not let the opinion of other people make her think that she is not good enough. Not good enough to be in this class, not good enough to be in this number. It is frivolous, it is wrong. In the end, it does not matter.
I was given the blessing of having my two children, I vowed to be a good mother and to protect them. For nine months I carried them, always careful, When they were born I fed them, covered them if it was cold, put them in their car seats etc. Always cautious. Yes, I am also a normal mother. I can not be perfect, god knows I am not. I have my moments, my impatience, my yelling. My not cooking and opting for take out. Would I be normal if I didn't? Why not now? Why did I let something so insignificant like dance blur my vision, how did I get so caught up? She started dance to have fun, to give her an activity. She chose dance as opposed to the ice skating, gymnastics and piano that she had tried. She has made friends, she has all those memories. She will have more memories. I am grounded now, my vision for her well being is back. She will experience this, but I will make sure that at the end of all of this, she comes out of this a better person, feeling good about herself and knowing that she CAN do whatever her heart desires. That NO ONE can stop her.
Enough of my Jerry McGuire ramblings....this was not my intention. It was to post like I always do, about my children. I just had so many mixed feelings about that weekend, that my fingers would not stop typing. I would have been a hypocrite to just post pictures and not express my true feelings. So, here are the pictures. The memories that will matter. The fun times that were had, the dinners, the friendships that will always stay in her heart. Love to all that read this.
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