She danced her heart out, and she stopped my heart at the same time. All I have to say is that I now know what it's like to lose your child, if only for 20 minutes. And, it is a feeling that I wouldn't wish on anyone in this world. How do you go on living?
Let me explain. Chicago is the third biggest city in the United States. And that translates to a lot of people. Usually dance conventions/competitions are held in convention centers, or large hotels. This one in particular was held at a very large resort with a large convention hall attached. The dancers are all over the place. There is a huge Teen/Senior room, a Junior room, a Mini room and a Teachers room. They are spread out. The kids stay in their perspective rooms, and the teachers move around. Kids are everywhere.
Yesterday while we waited for the teens and seniors to finish their auditions, Kai had a very bad headache. Janna gave her two Advil and she went and performed her jazz combo on stage. (I will post video) After that, she came and sat next to me on the floor. I continued to enjoy the show. About five minutes later, I looked down, and where Kai had been, she was no more. I kind of panicked, then I thought, she went to sit with the rest of the 400 kids on the floor to await awards. Just to make sure, I got up to look for her. It was impossible to find her in that crowd. I ran back and forth to the lobby, to the bathrooms and nothing. So back to the convention hall. Still no Kai. Awards were starting.
General Scholarships, no sign of her. Then they did Mini Outstanding Dancers. When Junior awards were starting, I prayed "Please God, let her win so I can at least find her." Her name was the fourth one announced. Nothing....no Kai.....she wasn't running up on stage to claim the award she had worked so hard for all weekend. 12 hours of dancing for this. That is when I lost it, I mean I lost it!!! Crying, freaking out!! Running around not knowing what to do. I was about to run and call security when God made me look in the corner of the convention hall. There in a ball, among coats and bags and shoes, was Kai, asleep to the world. I was so mad, and angry, and happy and thrilled all at the same time. I can't even explain. Mad and angry at her for not telling me that she was leaving, happy to have found her, and thrilled, because after I found her, I realized that she had made it to Outstanding Dancer.
By the time I found her, her moment had passed, she did get on stage as they were awarding Senior scholarships. She did get her picture taken with the rest of the winners. She scared the heck out of me. And my heart did feel like it stopped for those moments. In the end, I was thrilled and excited for her and for Kailee because Kailee danced amazing and she also got into the teen division.
I will post about the fun stuff, but I couldn't post about that until I talked about the worse 20 minutes of my life. I can't imagine what the parents that actually have a child abducted feel like. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. God, I love my children, and I can only pray that God lends them to me as long as I am alive, for I now know that I wouldn't be able to survive without them.
Let me explain. Chicago is the third biggest city in the United States. And that translates to a lot of people. Usually dance conventions/competitions are held in convention centers, or large hotels. This one in particular was held at a very large resort with a large convention hall attached. The dancers are all over the place. There is a huge Teen/Senior room, a Junior room, a Mini room and a Teachers room. They are spread out. The kids stay in their perspective rooms, and the teachers move around. Kids are everywhere.
Yesterday while we waited for the teens and seniors to finish their auditions, Kai had a very bad headache. Janna gave her two Advil and she went and performed her jazz combo on stage. (I will post video) After that, she came and sat next to me on the floor. I continued to enjoy the show. About five minutes later, I looked down, and where Kai had been, she was no more. I kind of panicked, then I thought, she went to sit with the rest of the 400 kids on the floor to await awards. Just to make sure, I got up to look for her. It was impossible to find her in that crowd. I ran back and forth to the lobby, to the bathrooms and nothing. So back to the convention hall. Still no Kai. Awards were starting.
General Scholarships, no sign of her. Then they did Mini Outstanding Dancers. When Junior awards were starting, I prayed "Please God, let her win so I can at least find her." Her name was the fourth one announced. Nothing....no Kai.....she wasn't running up on stage to claim the award she had worked so hard for all weekend. 12 hours of dancing for this. That is when I lost it, I mean I lost it!!! Crying, freaking out!! Running around not knowing what to do. I was about to run and call security when God made me look in the corner of the convention hall. There in a ball, among coats and bags and shoes, was Kai, asleep to the world. I was so mad, and angry, and happy and thrilled all at the same time. I can't even explain. Mad and angry at her for not telling me that she was leaving, happy to have found her, and thrilled, because after I found her, I realized that she had made it to Outstanding Dancer.
By the time I found her, her moment had passed, she did get on stage as they were awarding Senior scholarships. She did get her picture taken with the rest of the winners. She scared the heck out of me. And my heart did feel like it stopped for those moments. In the end, I was thrilled and excited for her and for Kailee because Kailee danced amazing and she also got into the teen division.
I will post about the fun stuff, but I couldn't post about that until I talked about the worse 20 minutes of my life. I can't imagine what the parents that actually have a child abducted feel like. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. God, I love my children, and I can only pray that God lends them to me as long as I am alive, for I now know that I wouldn't be able to survive without them.
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