no, I'm not trying to sing the 80's Lisa Lisa hit. Although that song does bring back good memories. Memories of youthfulness. On the days where there were no worries. When waking up with a zit on my chin was the end of the world.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days when I woke up in the morning and did whatever my heart desired. If I wanted to ride my horse and feel the air through my hair. I would just go to my Papi's ranch and have my beautiful black horse saddled up for me and ride through the canyons all by myself. (After watching the movie Black Stallion, I wanted a solid black horse just like him and my Papi found him for me. His name was Cochito) When I was done riding, I would sit down and have some heart to hearts with my Papi. If I wanted to just drive around and listen to my stereo full blast I could. And if I needed some retail therapy, I would just ask my Papi for money and head to Tucson and buy what my little heart desired. No matter how bad a day I was ever having, my Papi always made it better. I miss him so much.
Losing a parent has been the hardest thing for me. I never thought that at 23 I would lose my Papi, and so unexpectedly. I sometimes feel so cheated because my sisters had him in their lives for so much longer. I was an unplanned surprise. My older sister is 17 years older than me, and my middle sister is 11 years older than me. My nieces got to know him a lot too. Kai was 11 months old when he passed and Nachito wasn't even a thought yet. They would have loved him just as much as I loved him for 23 years and 9 months. And even though he is no longer with us, I still, to this day feel his presence.
**********************************************************
I am so glad that my post changed direction. You just never know what your fingers will type. Initially I was going to type about what I thought was a bad day. A day that I had yesterday that made me feel like it was the end of the world. Then as I was typing, my heart went a whole other direction. Because Buddy told me last night to just get over it, that it was done and it was over and to move on. And Buddy, thank you. I did! I may not have my Papi anymore, but I do have you, and you did make it all better.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days when I woke up in the morning and did whatever my heart desired. If I wanted to ride my horse and feel the air through my hair. I would just go to my Papi's ranch and have my beautiful black horse saddled up for me and ride through the canyons all by myself. (After watching the movie Black Stallion, I wanted a solid black horse just like him and my Papi found him for me. His name was Cochito) When I was done riding, I would sit down and have some heart to hearts with my Papi. If I wanted to just drive around and listen to my stereo full blast I could. And if I needed some retail therapy, I would just ask my Papi for money and head to Tucson and buy what my little heart desired. No matter how bad a day I was ever having, my Papi always made it better. I miss him so much.
Losing a parent has been the hardest thing for me. I never thought that at 23 I would lose my Papi, and so unexpectedly. I sometimes feel so cheated because my sisters had him in their lives for so much longer. I was an unplanned surprise. My older sister is 17 years older than me, and my middle sister is 11 years older than me. My nieces got to know him a lot too. Kai was 11 months old when he passed and Nachito wasn't even a thought yet. They would have loved him just as much as I loved him for 23 years and 9 months. And even though he is no longer with us, I still, to this day feel his presence.
**********************************************************
I am so glad that my post changed direction. You just never know what your fingers will type. Initially I was going to type about what I thought was a bad day. A day that I had yesterday that made me feel like it was the end of the world. Then as I was typing, my heart went a whole other direction. Because Buddy told me last night to just get over it, that it was done and it was over and to move on. And Buddy, thank you. I did! I may not have my Papi anymore, but I do have you, and you did make it all better.
Comments
When I'm feeling down, I just remember how blessed I am to have healthy children, an awesome family, and ultimately the Lord, who says that His Grace is sufficient!!
HUGS!
Alicia